firsttimeever

INeversaiditwouldbesimple.

you never said it would be simple. Everything I've ever gone through.i blame it all on you. this is your fault. I don't know what i was thinking..Putting my trust in someone like you...Loving your smile. Loving the fact that you were mine to hold and i was yours forever. I didn't know that you would take my heart, lay it on a cold table and poke at it with a burnt needle. Taking all my breath away with your quick kisses. Leaving me speechless at the things you said, "Every time my heart beats, it beats your name. You never told me that you would leave me dreaming under my ceiling about the days that would never come. i dont know what i was thinking. The way you said my name. the way youd hold my hand when we stayed out late. The way your voice souned on the phone..in person.

Yeah, I guess i was fuhken stupid for ever thinking. For ever believing that I could be yours forever. You never told me that SHE would take you away from me for forever. You never told me how you would make me cry for months in the bathroom. Well fuck. I never thought that i would still love you. Even after the things you said, the things you've done. I made you into something i cant ever be held accountable for. I cant believe i gave you a shread of confidence to hold close to your chest, scratch untill you reach your hear and keep it there. that is....untill SHE blew you up six sizes to big.Untill SHE made you something your not. a dick pretty much. You USE to care...and now, you think you have no one but her because you've thrown everyone close to you away. your best friend started smoking[ who knows what became of him]

You make me hate you. YOU wanted this "friendship" to work. Hah. please. Spare me the thought of ever having to fall in love with that smile, that voice. Dear lord. Help me from wanting to hold you. To cry--and beg for you to take me back. It seems your quite taken with HER and i guess you should be. Because I could never have done for you the things she could.

I couldnt have ever kissed you the way she did. I couldnt have ever pressed my body against you like she did. I couldnt ever have lied to you like she did. i couldnt ever have used you like she did. i could ever have told you the things she did out of love.

Because I loved you for what you were. A sweet heart, who didnt know any better. A bright eyed boy who had more to look forward to than just sex and giving your heart away to someone who doesnt want it. But you never listen to me....so please tell me..

Whyevenbother?